10 Things Napoleon Would Have Tweeted

In this latest installment of an ongoing series that explores what history might have looked like from a social networking perspective, we consider what tweets we might have expected from one Napoleon Bonaparte. You probably remember him. Short, feisty dude with a serious chip on his shoulder. Fought quite a bit. Or is that Joe Pesci? Either way, let’s take a look at what he would have said from his Twitter profile:

1. I’ve got a beef with @Wellington. No way he beats me one-on-one and I’m not sick. Plus it was raining. I demand a rematch. It’s true, Wellington stacked the deck, and Napoleon did have to advance through some pretty sloppy terrain. But seriously, it’s been 197 years. Let’s move on.
2. For all my peeps wondering why I keep my hand inside my coat: I’m packin’ heat, homies. That’s how we roll in the Corsican hood. We just thought it would be fun to imagine one of the greatest military leaders in history going all gangsta.
3. 867-5309, 867-5309. @Josephine, I got your number. I need to make you mine… That’s the #Napoleonic Code right there. J/K. We’d like to think that Napoleon, for all his aristocratic flair and pedigree, was a fan of 80′s classics.
4. Mark my words – I may not look like much, but someday I’m gonna rule the world AND they’ll name a complex after me! It’s that Italian blood, no doubt, but this kid was full of spit and vinegar right from the get-go.
5. Pope, Schmope. I’m the Mack Daddy in this town. @Pius VII will just have to deal. What’s up with my man @Beethoven? Where’s the love? Napoleon crowns himself emperor, at the expense of Pope Pius VII, and much to the consternation of his (ex)-fan, Ludwig van Beethoven.

Read More...