In Depth: 20 best free Android apps
OK, so the Android Market is more akin to Lidl or Asda than the iPhone's enormous, indulgent Selfridges-at-Christmas time approach, but the open source nature of Google's OS means there's plenty of innovation to be found on its budget shelves.
And best of all, most of the good stuff on Android is free, thanks to the work of developers who do it for love alone. These 20 free Android apps should be any Android owner's Day One installs...
1. Seesmic
There are many Twitter apps on Android - and Twitter itself shook up the scene with the launch of its own-brand app recently - but we're sticking with Seesmic. Offering support for multiple accounts, a home page widget showing latest tweets and an incredibly slick and professional design, it's one of the finest examples of app development out there today.
2. Facebook for Android
The app is lacking in features compared to Facebook itself, but a recent update added Inbox support to the Android app, finally allowing its users to communicate in almost real-time. The app's fast and stable, with a simplicity that reminds you of the old days when using Facebook used to be bearable.
3. ASTRO File Manager
ASTRO is nothing more than a Windows-style file explorer, but if you're into tinkering and directly installing Android APK files yourself, it's essential to stick something like this on your phone. Makes your phone feel like a computer, and makes you feel like you're in charge of it.
4. Job Centre Plus
Hey, times are hard and you've got to pay for your oppressive monthly mobile phone contract somehow. Offering a fully searchable database of current UK job vacancies, it's a slightly cumbersome but useful tool. Some of the spelling's a bit off and the presentation could be better, but you can't argue with the chance to browse low-level admin jobs in Plymouth from the comfort of bed.
5. AppBrain Market Sync
You iPhone users won't believe this, but there's no official way to install Android apps from a PC. Seriously. You'd think Google of all companies would've sorted that out, but no. Which is where the unofficial Appbrain app comes in. Letting users queue up Market downloads via PC and have them sent to mobile, you're also able to generate an embeddable code that displays your currently installed apps on a web site.
6. Google Sky Map
A stunning app that renders Patrick Moore obsolete, by using your phone's orientation tools to give you an accurate representation of the stars and planets on your screen. Point phone at sky, then learn what constellations are visible and if that's a UFO or just Venus. Even works indoors, if you're not keen on getting cold.
7. Layar
The stunning augmented reality app has recently gone commercial, adding an online shop that allows users to buy AR content, like travel guides, local house price apps and much more. But you're still able to use the numerous free Layers to pop data up over real-world locations, delivering a satisfying futuristic experience.
8. Foursquare
The social media darling is represented in fine form on Android, with the Google app offering easy one-click check-ins, integrated Google Maps for a seamless Google-branded experience and home page shortcut options to all your favourite places.
9. WordPress for Android
The app started out as independent creation wpToGo, before WordPress decided it liked it so much it bought it up - hiring the maker to develop it in-house. It's very feature-packed, with the latest version offering full integration with other apps, letting you spin content and send it direct to the app for easy updating. Could do with more image insertion tools, though.
10. Google Goggles
A bit of a novelty, in that it lets you take photos and have Google analyse them and come back with a search results page for what it thinks you're looking at. However, the app's main use is as a QR code reader, which lets you scan barcodes for quick access to apps and whatever data people choose to embed in the odd little data squares.
11. AppMonster
The act of monitoring and uninstalling apps on Android is a bit of a clumsy process, to be honest, with numerous sub-screens to navigate - and yet more yes/no/are-you-sure dialogue boxes to get through once you've found the 'bin it' page. So get a decent app manager. Like AppMonster, which also offers one-click backup of all your apps to SD card, if you're the type who worries about having copies of everything.
12. AppsInstaller
Current rumour has it the forthcoming Android 2.2 update known as "FroYo" will let users save their Android Market purchases to their phone's SD card, freeing up valuable in-phone memory. But at the moment, the only way to have your apps installed to card is via an app like AppsInstaller - it's one of the odd quirks Android fans have been suffering with since the OS launched.
13. Skyfire 2.0
The USP of the Skyfire browser is that it supports Flash content, popping up a little window when it detects something like an embedded YouTube video. The actual Flash business is handled by Skyfire's server, which does all the computery stuff - then sends the file to your handset. A bit clunky on slower Android phones, but works like a dream on models with faster processors.
14. Task Manager
If you come from a bit of a hardcore PC background, you'll find Android's lack of a blue X to close apps a bit of a worry, what with the OS handling app closures itself. Which is why you need a good manual override tool to shut any persistent apps. It may help you save battery life, but most important is the feeling of control and empowerment you get from one-click closing apps.
15. RAC Traffic
An official production of the motoring organisation, the app is dead simple - it guesstimates your location via the mobile signal, then pops up the current traffic alerts for your area. Much better than having to listen to the radio for the odd update about arterial blockages.
16. Swype
The odd line-drawing alternate keyboard is a love-it or hate-it kind of thing, with the significant amount of re-learning required to make the most of it quite offputting to some users. Once you're familiar with the idea, though, it's genius - with advanced prediction options further speeding your line-typing. Swype is not available through the Android Market - the only way to install is is via a direct download from the maker.
17. Evernote
While we wait patiently for the Android version of Dropbox to arrive, the next best solution for keeping all your 'business' in one place is Evernote - which lets you stash and sync all your text notes, voice memos and files on phone and access them through a desktop computer.
18. Beeb Player
Does one thing - lets you access the BBC's famed iPlayer on your Android phone. You need to be connected via wi-fi for best performance, as our mobile networks can't really handle live-streaming the new Doctor Who through the ether, but for in-bed TV it's a great solution.
19. Last.fm
If you're too tight to pay out for a Spotify subscription, the free thrills of Last.fm open up a world of streaming music on your mobile. You have to 'buy in' to the odd Last.fm way of organising things and suggesting new music, but if you're easily led and not restricted by bandwidth it's a superb free music tool.
20. Google Maps Navigation
An absolute must-get. As long as you have Android 1.6 or above, the latest update to Google Maps introduces turn-by-turn voice navigation, simultaneously devastating the satnav industry while boosting the in-car dashboard dock/charger accessory scene. Route calculations are done at the outset of your trip, minimising data transfer en route and keeping you on target even when the GPS signal drops. It's amazing, it works, and it's free.
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Android upgrade to help Market finally rival App Store?
Google's Android OS could soon support app storage to memory card, opening the door to a huge step up in application quality.
Currently the only option developers have is to store the apps on the (limited) inbuilt memory on Android phones.
But adding in memory card support would mean that much grander applications for Android could be dreamt up, helping Google's application Market take on the might of the iPhone's App Store.
Hurry up!
This has been a constant request from users over on Google's forums, and finally there's some good news: it's 'coming soon'.
A poster from Google has said that while they can't commit to any given schedule, the memory card storage is coming soon, and Google is sorry for the delay.
We're hoping this update comes in time for Froyo, as it might increase the pressure on Apple a little when the new iPhone HD is announced if Google's app store just got that much more awesome.
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Darth Vader comes to TomTom
TomTom has officially unveiled the latest celebrity to lend their voice to the manufacturer's sat navs - Darth Vader.
Launched today, which by mighty coincidence is unofficially Star Wars day (May the fourth be with you, and all that) TomTom has revealed that the voice will be available from its store for £7.95.
TechRadar got wind of the news last week, when we received an interesting email from no less than Darth Vader himself, with the following statement: "I find your lack of faith disturbing. Drive with me to the Dark Side…"
We used the Force and found that the MP3 file attached to the email (which was of the Star Wars theme tune) played in Media Player with the metadata saying 'TomTom albums'.
TomTom asked us nicely not to spoil the surprise and, fearing the power of the Dark Side, we agreed.
Vader voice
TomTom is no stranger to adding novelty voices to its sat navs. Just this month it was announced that Billy Connolly had lent his Scottish brogue and they have already snapped up the dulcet tones of Homer Simpson.
Adding Darth Vader to TomTom is definitely something which brings out our inner geek.
Although the voice doesn't come with a Hans-free kit, work with a Jabba Bluetooth headset, or tell you where all the Leia-bys are, you do get Darth Vader warning alert sounds, wallpaper and a nice Vader-shaped map icon.
To get Darth Vader on your TomTom, go to http://starwars.tomtom.com/voices.
If you rather wait for other Star Wars voices, then Hans Solo, C3PO and Yoda voices have a UK release date of June, July and August repectively.
Rumours that Chewbacca and R2D2 have defected to CoPilot are still unconfirmed.
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Darth Vader comes to TomTom
TomTom has officially unveiled the latest celebrity to lend their voice to the manufacturer's sat navs - Darth Vader.
Launched today, which by mighty coincidence is unofficially Star Wars day (May the fourth be with you, and all that) TomTom has revealed that the voice will be available from its store for £7.95.
TechRadar got wind of the news last week, when we received an interesting email from no less than Darth Vader himself, with the following statement: "I find your lack of faith disturbing. Drive with me to the Dark Side…"
We used the Force and found that the MP3 file attached to the email (which was of the Star Wars theme tune) played in Media Player with the metadata saying 'TomTom albums'.
TomTom asked us nicely not to spoil the surprise and, fearing the power of the Dark Side, we agreed.
Vader voice
TomTom is no stranger to adding novelty voices to its sat navs. Just this month it was announced that Billy Connolly had lent his Scottish brogue and they have already snapped up the dulcet tones of Homer Simpson.
Adding Darth Vader to TomTom is definitely something which brings out our inner geek.
Although the voice doesn't come with a Hans-free kit, work with a Jabba Bluetooth headset, or tell you where all the Leia-bys are, you do get Darth Vader warning alert sounds, wallpaper and a nice Vader-shaped map icon.
To get Darth Vader on your TomTom, go to http://starwars.tomtom.com/voices.
If you rather wait for other Star Wars voices, then Hans Solo, C3PO and Yoda voices have a UK release date of June, July and August repectively.
Rumours that Chewbacca and R2D2 have defected to CoPilot are still unconfirmed.
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Gary Marshall: Has Windows Phone 7 been beaten before it's even launched?
Things are getting interesting in mobile phone land. Android sales have quadrupled this month, thanks largely to joyous hardware such as HTC's Desire, and Google's taking the wraps off Android 2.2 in a fortnight.
The iPhone OS 4.0 is imminent, and we'll find out whether Steve Jobs has any surprises up his sleeve when the next iPhone is unveiled next month.
And Windows Phone 7… well, Windows Phone 7 still isn't out.
There's a bit in most weddings where the guests are asked: "speak now or forever hold your peace". It's the last chance to stop the wedding, and if nobody objects then the rings are exchanged, the signatures inked and the lips locked to bind bride and groom in holy matrimony. There's no point turning up six months later and shouting "BUT SHE'S A MAN!" into an empty church, even if it's true.
That's pretty much what Windows Phone 7 is up to. We're halfway down the aisle with Apple and Google, and Windows Phone has left the house, hours late, on a rickety unicycle.
Maybe Windows Phone 7 is the Mr Right of the mobile world. The problem is that it isn't Mr Right Now.
At best it won't ship until the end of 2010; at worst, it could be delayed yet again. Either way, it looks like Microsoft's mobile OS will be a case of too little, too late.
For those of us who aren't already in long-term mobile phone relationships, the HTC Desire and forthcoming iPhone look awfully seductive. It's going to be another smartphone summer, and once the season's finished millions of people will be in long-term relationships: typical phone contracts are now 18-month or even two-year affairs.
Maybe Microsoft isn't going after the uncommitted, though. Maybe it prefers a more experienced kind of customer, the kind of customer who might be looking for a bit of excitement, the kind of customer whose existing mobile no longer offers the same spark that it used to.
But there's bad news there too, because neither iPhone nor Android are slumped on the sofa, eating Wotsits and piling on the pounds. They're not as young as when we first saw them across a crowded Carphone Warehouse, sure, but both Android 2.2 and iPhone OS 4.0 promise to rejuvenate our faithful phones with electronic Viagra.
With Windows Phone 7, then, it looks like Microsoft is serenading the wrong balcony and arming Cupid with rubber arrows. Its heart is in the right place, but its timing is terrible.
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Samsung placing weight behind Android over Bada
Samsung has announced its forthcoming smartphones will be mostly based on Android over the next year.
It has stated that 50% of future smartphone releases will be using Google Android, despite it only having two phones in the UK using the OS.
Samsung has recently unveiled its own smartphone OS, Bada, and the expectation was that the Korean firm would be using it in a majority of its smartphones.
Bada-boo
However, according to Reuters this proportion will only be 33%, meaning it could be a slower start than anticipated for the new proprietary OS.
Samsung hasn't commented on what the remaining 16.3% of its smartphones will run, but its likely the majority will be Windows Phone 7, given the Korean firms close ties with Microsoft in the mobile space up until now.
Samsung has already announced the Wave, its first Bada-based phone, which will be arriving later in the year, and the new Galaxy S, its latest Android phone to join the Galaxy and Galaxy Portal in the UK.
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What's bigger than a petabyte? A zettabyte...
As if geek lexicon wasn't convoluted enough already, research about the amount of data we're consuming has forced the use of a new term: the zettabyte.
Tech research and consultancy firm IDC has been looking into the amount of information the human race is outputting digitally, showing that we've outputted 8 million petabytes of information onto the web so far - the equivalent of 8,000,000,000,000 GB.
And given the rate at which we're sharing video, tweeting, uploading photos etc, that number will soon cross into unheard of territory: 1.2 zettabytes of information, or 12,000,000 PB.
It's all about the facts
Adrian MacDonald, VP of EMC that sponsored the survey, said: "There has been mammoth growth in the types of media that make up the digital universe.
"A huge increase in video and digital photography – in the old days people would take one photograph, now they can knock off 20 photos and rather than store just one, people store all 20.
"Then there is the fact that the number of devices where information can be generated and stored has also increased."
We're (or a certain member of our team is) putting forward our claims for the next unit of measurement: the gazzabyte. Has a certain ring to it - better than a yottabyte anyway...
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Moto Milestone 2 looks set for massive hardware upgrade
Motorola might have gone slightly quiet in the UK with its Android handsets, but another future model has been spotted with some very high-end specs.
The Motorola Shadow has trundled through the Wi-Fi alliance, and shows a phone that has a 4.3-inch high res screen, an 8MP camera with HD video recording, and the ability to pump out 1080p video.
To achieve this, the Motorola Shadow will apparently come equipped with a mini-HDMI output, so you can carry all your favourite HD movies with you for your friends' viewing pleasure.
Lookey-likey
'Pictures' of the phone have also surfaced on a Chinese blog, showing a phone with a design very similar to that of the Milestone.
And the kicker: apparently the shadow will be the first to bring Android 2.2/Froyo, just as the Milestone was the first to show off Android 2.0/Éclair.
This is more than just cool, it hints that Android is indeed getting memory card storage for apps, as a paltry 512MB internal storage will barely hold any HD footage at all, so this is a phone that will need a big memory card by default.
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Valve reveals Mac Steam release date
Valve's gaming download service Steam is coming to the Mac this month, with a date set for 12 May.
Originally, Valve's Steam client was meant to come to Apple Macs in April but this date came and went and the service still remained in private beta, where it has been since March.
It now looks as if 12 May will be the date when Valve officially unveils its software to the general public - this according to the makers of Steam who released the following rather short statement to the press: "Valve today announced the public release of Steam for the Mac is May 12. Please stay tuned for more information.".
Full Steam ahead
There won't be too much difference to the PC and Mac versions of Steam, but there will be a new feature which is called Steam Play that allows users to buy games that are compatible with both PCs and Macs.
Steam has been a phenomenal success on the PC, since its creation back in 2003.
At launch, Valve's top games – including Left 4 Dead 2, Team Fortress 2, Counter-Strike, Portal and the Half-Life series – will be available to Mac users.
Back in April, the PC version of Steam was given a redesign which was part-created using public feedback.
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Updated: Google resurrects Gmail in the UK
Google has announced it is bringing back the @gmail.com email address for new users of the service in the UK after it reached a settlement with the company claiming the name as its own.
Anyone that fancied hopping on Google's email service after October 2005 has been given an @googlemail.com suffix to their username, after another company claimed it held the rights to gmail.
UPDATE: We've asked Google for a statement about what's happened, and the search engine has kindly responded (via a real life spokesperson, not just us Googling our query):
"After engaging in legal proceedings at the trademark office, we were able to reach a settlement with the party with whom we had the conflict.
We are happy to have resolved this issue, and look forward to offering @gmail.com addresses to users in the UK."
Adding the oogle
It is a little confusing as even though those issued with an @googlemail.com after October 2005 were still able to receive mail on the equivalent @gmail.com address - but now this just sounds cooler and as Google points out: saves finger energy (sort of).
We're having a little word with Google now to see if we can find out the reason for the change, but this is something it may stay a little tight-lipped on.
So if you've been sitting on the Googlemail fence for over five years based on the too-long suffix, then a) you need to get out more and b) the world has now become a brighter place for you.
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Virgin Media on-demand service sails past 200 million views
Virgin Media has revealed the latest stats surrounding its on-demand TV service, celebrating the fact that its catch-up offering has hit 200 million views in 2010 alone.
In the first three months of the year, the amount of homes viewing content from the BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Virgin1 and Living – as well as the myriad movies on offer – has also risen by 250,000 year on year, to 2.1 million homes.
Demand is high
Virgin Media is putting the rise down to the quality of programming on offer. The likes of Glee, Shameless and Skins meant that 8 million tuned into 4oD in March via the service.
Around 250,000 tuned into EastEnders Live on the iPlayer through their Virgin Media boxes alone.
In February, the BBC announced that the iPlayer was receiving some 120 million requests a month, showing that the need for on-demand content has never been higher.
"Watching TV on demand is now part of the nations' daily viewing habits, with millions of people tuning into the TV programmes they love when they want to watch them," said Cindy Rose, executive director, digital entertainment, at Virgin Media.
Virgin isn't slowing down in its push for on-demand content. Later this year, the company is set to release its own web rival to the iPlayer and Sky Player.
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Vodafone nabs Nokia C3 on exclusive deal
Vodafone has announced it will be stocking the new Nokia C3 phone on an exclusive pay-as-you-go deal.
The new phone from Nokia was announced last month, and is a full QWERTY effort running the low-end Symbian S40 operating system.
At the time of launch, Nokia made a big deal about how the phone is designed to help the socially-networked stay connected, meaning access to IM clients like Windows Live Messenger and Google Talk.
Grey or pink?
Vodafone hasn't given UK pricing or a definitive UK release date for the Nokia C3 as yet, but it will be offered in slate grey or hot pink.
Vodafone has announced its customers can get £50 worth of calling credit with every pay as you go phone bought from one of Vodafone's UK stores.
All customers buying a pay as you go phone in store will automatically get a free 30-day Freedom Pack. Each pack gives 100 minutes of calls to any network, anytime as well as all 01, 02 and 03 landlines and 300 standard UK texts– the equivalent to £50 worth of calls and texts.
However, if you do take the PAYG route, then you'll be stung when it comes to mobile internet usage - you'll be paying £7.50 per month for a measly 250MB of data.
If you're a contract user, you can get the same rolling one month deal, but get double the data - 500MB.
It's still a long way behind other networks (3 offers 1GB fair use, for instance), but if you're going to be heavily internetting on your new Nokia C3 you might struggle with just 250MB of data.
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Bill Gates: 'Microsoft has a lot of different tablet projects'
Microsoft chairman Bill Gates has revealed that the computing company isn't just working on one tablet device but "lots of different ones".
This comes after Microsoft revealed that the much-mooted Courier tablet concept - and potential rival to the Apple iPad - would not be released.
Speaking to Fox Business Network, he revealed that Microsoft was looking at a number of different tablet devices and that it's not all about the touchscreen either – with Gates still trying to pioneer the pen as a stylus.
"Microsoft has a lot of different tablet projects that we're pursuing," explained Gates and when pressed about the use of a pen with a tablet, he said: "We think that work with the pen that Microsoft pioneered will become a mainstream for students.
"It can give you a device that you can not only read, but also create documents at the same time."
No plans
The pen stylus is something which was meant to come with the Courier tablet. While Microsoft has revealed It has "no plans" to build the device, elements of its design may well find its way into other tablet devices, with Microsoft's corporate vice president of communications, Frank Shaw saying last week: "It's in our DNA to develop new form factors and natural user interfaces to foster productivity and creativity.
"The Courier project is an example of this type of effort. It will be evaluated for use in future offerings, but we have no plans to build such a device at this time."
No plans, eh? Tell that to Mr Gates.
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Exclusive: Microsoft: Firefox, Chrome have bugs for years longer than IE
While they were working out the best way to collect feedback for Internet Explorer 9, the IE team looked at the bug reporting tools used by Mozilla and WebKit to see if they were missing a trick themselves.
They made some changes like not making people get invited to report bugs and "we tweaked the forms a little bit to pick up some of the feedback we were missing that tended to make bugs less actionable," IE general manager Dean Hachamovitch told TechRadar.
But they also spotted that some bug reports for other browsers hang around for a long time (for years in some cases) without being fixed or even accepted as confirmed bug reports; and while the IE team closes every bug reported (whether by fixing it or saying it won't be fixed), as of this week Mozilla's Bugzilla system reports 12,779 unconfirmed bugs and WebKit has 2,616 unconfirmed bugs.
IE Test Manager Jason Upton told us he filed one of those languishing background reports himself. "There's a bug that I logged a couple of years ago, based on some feedback from our OEM guys and it sat there for 15 months.
"In the last couple of months people have talked about it and said 'yeah, we should probably fix it' but it's not getting much traction. There are a lot of bugs sitting there without getting traction; maybe that's the nature of an open source project but that's not the style of project we have."
Fair comparison?
That's certainly a lot more than the 533 bugs reported publicly for the IE9 Platform Preview so far (even allowing for the fact that Microsoft asks users to open a new bug even if they had previously reported it in IE8); but is it a fair comparison even to older browsers?
Dean Hachamovitch says the team "pulled the data and tried to do an apples to apples comparison" but pointed out that fewer bugs ever reach public IE testers to report in the first place.
"The bugs you see on Connect are bugs that are logged after the professionals in this hallway have their testing - so there's a smaller pool of bugs."
Upton's calculations on the IE blog show that for IE8, the IE team found five times as many bugs as general users (and a lot more bugs than other people inside Microsoft) and the bug reports the internal testers filed were six times more likely to have enough information in to fix the bug.
Feature or bug?
What about people who filed what they thought was a real bug, only for the IE team to treat it as a product suggestion and close the bug?
"Clearly these bugs raise visceral emotions in people who log them," agrees Hachamovitch. "From a customer point of view there's a no difference between a bug and a suggestion and we respect that."
But when you get beyond the definition of a bug as a product feature that doesn't work the way it's supposed to work and into the question of features that don't work the way people would like them to work, he suggests it becomes a question of perspective.
"We use many, many data sources from customers to inform what we build and how we build it," Hachamovitch told us.
"When you connect data from hundreds of millions of users around what they actually do and how they actually do it that is extremely powerful." The IE team is also balancing what a lot of different people are asking for; your perfectly reasonable feature request could be something that causes problems for people who care about security or accessibility.
It's not about the numbers of bugs or whether Mozilla and Webkit had more or less than IE, though. "The larger story here," Hachamovitch told us, "is around responsiveness and who takes responsibility. What we think of as pretty standard examples of things that were valid, reasonably important and well logged bugs sat around for a long time [in the other browsers]."
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Twitter to launch embeddable tweets
Twitter has surreptitiously announced the launch of embeddable tweets, allowing users to add a Twitter update to websites.
Although it hasn't been officially announced, Twitter did show off the brand-new function on its media blog.
The micro-blogging site is hoping that sites will use the embeddable option to show off how much of a viable news source Twitter has become.
To show off the virtues of adding tweets to a news piece it uses an article by ReadWriteWeb, which has screen-grabbed tweets in it, as an example, noting: "the use of real tweets helps 'chunk' the piece both visually and logically; we think it makes it easier to read."
Bit of a hack
The blog post then goes on to explain that: "The truth is that a pasted-in image of a tweet is a bit of a hack. We have a simple alternative to propose; it's coming tomorrow."
And to show off the technology, Twitter posted what an embeddable tweet will actually look like.
To make it work, Twitter notes that all that's needed is "just a snippet of code you'll be able to use to generate simple, selectable flat-HTML tweets."
There's no sign of the code yet, but if Twitter says it's arriving today then we can only but believe it.
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In Depth: 10 gadgets that are just too cute to live
200,000 years of human evolution and it's come to this
Gadgets: you love 'em.
But when your better half's eyes glaze over during another lecture from you about the virtues of Karmic Koala, this is what they're really thinking about.
1. Hello Kitty headphones
They're pink and gold and festooned with the iconic image of Hello Kitty – the cutesy superstar from Japan's megatoycorp Sanrio. The headphones work with virtually all kinds of music player and fold up so they can be hidden out of sight. Oh, and they're only $87 (£56) plus shipping from Japan Trend Shop.
2. Yoda In Your Pocket
Impress your friends it will. A talking Yoda this is. In your pocket it goes. No, sorry can't keep this up. Is there no end to Lucas's money-making chicanery? Yoda In Your Pocket is a green (geddit) keyring with six buttons, each of which is programmed with an immortal phrase from the Star Wars series. Buy or buy not. There is no think. Sorry. It's £8.99.
3. Bowlingual Dog Voice Translator
Dogs are cleverer than cats. Cats are cleverer than us. Which means we need this translator to figure out what the heck they're going on about. The kit comprises two parts - a dog collar reader that clips on to your dog and a hand-held translator complete with paw shaped keys.
It works with up to 50 different dog breeds. But you need to speak Japanese. And have $243 (£156) burning a hole in your pocket.
4. Hannspree Zoo Series Photo Frame
Oh look, grandpa's head has been eaten by a polar bear. Yup this is a polar bear with an 8-inch photo frame in his belly - perfect for displaying family photos in glorious 800 x 480 pixel resolution.
You can even use it to watch MPEG-1, MPEG-2 and MPEG-4 video, and, of course, the frame has a built-in calendar / alarm clock. You can also choose from four different designs aside from the polar bear, including Elephant, Giraffe, Panda and Man-Eating Tiger (just kidding).
5. Speakal iPom
Audiophiles don't know what they're missing. The iPom speaker dock can not only do all kinds of remarkable things to the sound coming out of your iPod or iPhone, but has stereo speakers that stick out on flower-shaped stalks. Amazing. It also includes USB and SD card slots plus a 3.5mm headphones jack, adjustable bass and a 12W subwoofer. Hi-fi? Pah.
6. Teddy Speaker
Another amazing accessory for your MP3 player. Only this time it's teddy bear-shaped and made from patterned pink, blue and yellow material. With a speaker in each of his feet, this high tech bear comes with a 3.5mm headphones jack lead and requires 4 AA batteries, which is a bummer. But at least it only costs £14.99.
7. Penguin USB flash drives
Data storage. Two words that strike icy cold fear in anyone too dumb to back up their stuff. Or move it around. Luckily these Penguin USB flash drives have come to the rescue, offering up to 4GB of space for stuff like pictures of kittens and X-Factor MP3s. There are four different designs to choose from, although Santa penguin is only available in 2GB capacity. From £14.99.
8. Solar Butterfly
Green technology is many things: planet saver, CO2 reducer, economy booster, but it's never been cute. Until now. Paint its wings and then stick the Solar Butterfly to a window and the magical power of the sun will cause it to flap its wings and turn your room rainbow-coloured.
Ideal for teenage girls. Or grown men with a teenage girl fixation. That didn't come out quite right, did it? £12.99 from the Gadget Shop.
9. Extraordinary earbuds
Groove on the move with these extraordinary earbuds, which are available in a bewildering array of cutesy designs: Ducks, Ladybirds, Cupcakes, Volume Knobs, Bling and, erm, Skulls and Flies.
What kind of girl likes skulls and flies? (That's not a joke. We'd really like to know.) The headphones work with any kind of MP3 player thanks to their 3.5mm headphone jack and have a 1.39 metre cable. Sound quality? At £9.99 a pair, who cares?
10. Wireless Choco Mouse
What are the two best things in the world. Pizza and Laydeez? Nope. Think chocolate and computers. So it's a good job some clever inventor has put the two together (not cheese and tomato girls, keep up) and invented the Wireless Choco Mouse - a computer mouse that looks like a bar of chocolate.
It wasn't that difficult to see where this was going, was it? As you'd expect the Wireless Choco Mouse has left, right and clicking scroll buttons and is Windows and Mac-compatible. Bet Steve Jobs has one, although we're a bit miffed that someone's already taken a bite out of ours.
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